what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
I'm on my "fiiiiirrrst" glass of wine- the quotes mean it's the last of the bottle- so I really need you to pick up your phone so we can talk about this
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
Randomize
