Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
Why the fuck do they always fuck on couches in porn?
Don't ever text me while you're jacking off. EVER.
we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
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