Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle"
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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