I heard we made out
I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
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