I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
Tried to bribe the bartender with wedding cake. Felt bad for not giving her a tip.
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
No. Way more drunk than the night I put a snowball in my purse "for later" and woke up to find everything soaking the next day.
But less drunk than the day that Pete took four of your birth control pills thinking they were Advil, right?
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
I have aggressive nipples.
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
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