Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
this just has baby written all over it
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
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