if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
She's like a pop up book from hell.
should my penis look like a turkey
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
I know, it's just the worst. Also, security almost took the burrito I brought for lunch. I thought I was going to have to pull a Liz Lemon and eat the whole thing before I could go through.
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
Randomize
