party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
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