then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
After you bought Jesus' name tag off him at the Mexican restaurant you commenced to stumbling around the lobby showing anybody who would listen what would Jesus do.
Stop giving me tequila.
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
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