Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
if i get killed by an online date, its your job to tell my parents that we met at church
I just woke up under a kitchen table with my sandals taped to my feet and a corona bottle taped to my hand..
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
Randomize
