I'd wear matching sweaters with you
Apparently, banging my bartender ex-girlfriend = free drinks again. Not every bad decision is a wrong decision.
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
Randomize
