we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
Randomize
