I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
Top reasons to NOT leave jessica to her own devices : 1. Drinking becomes a competitive sport ( in which she is the only one competing) 2.big girl words= no worky 3. Whiskey refuses to be a good friend (as much as she insists ). 4. Waking up at six a.m. still in her swim suit is super awkward. 5. It isn't a fun game to figure out which person she gave her number to and 6. Yesterdays eyeliner doesn't look good today.
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
I said "one day" and that day is not today
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
Just got drunk at the Cheesecake Factory again. Made me think of you.
That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
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