You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
He started screaming "fuck me I'm Ryan Gosling" and proceeded to pick up the smallest guy at the party and carry him to bed.
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
Randomize
