Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?
I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
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