Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
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