If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
I save people's lives for a living, but I want to ruin his marriage.
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
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