A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
Auto correct isn't even working for how drunk you are
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
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