Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
I'm so hungover that I just wrote up my will because I'm afraid I'm gonna die. I'm leaving you my bong.
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
Randomize
