Just sold all of my pants in order to buy tonight's whiskey. Goodbye, high functioning alcoholism. Hello, Dad.
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
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