Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
The creeper at the bar just realized we have the same birthday and bought me four beers already. He walked off so I took his change and dashed, i'm bringing the case over now.
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
Randomize
