just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
Sometimes I'm jealous of turtles because they can just go to their homes whenever they want by putting their heads in their bodies.
How high are you?
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
We fucked for 9 months, but he didn't want anything serious. So, I got rid of him and went on a date with a guy last night that looks like Kylo Ren. Who's really winning here?
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