Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
