What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
I got a handjob from a sober married woman in a parking lot in the middle of the day, yet you still cant manage to get laid by a drunk single slut at the bar at 1am. Wtf
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
Randomize
