No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
Randomize
