I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
I just took what could be the most awkward shit in my life, which considering my definition of awkward and my experiences shitting, is pretty fucking awkward.
...
I was sitting there doing my business and the guy in the stall next to me banged on the stall and asked me how to spell picnic because he wasn't sure.
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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