I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
Told him I just wanted to be friends. He responded, "The best marriages are born from great friendships." Please come get me.
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
Randomize
