Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
I informed him that we had less than 5 minutes left to live, and his first words were "I'm trying to think of a good They Might Be Giants quip"
Randomize
