Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
I drank so much Goldschläger last night, I could shit a necklace.
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
Randomize
