I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
Disregard any previous text from the past 12 hours. Except for the one about scoring a strike while drunk bowling. Remember that one.
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
Randomize
