i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
I bought two pregnancy tests and a cosmopolitan magazine at 4am... I told the cashier "dont judge me, ur not God"
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
Randomize
