Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
do herpes really smell.
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
I woke up to an email from Groupon for 3 laser lipo treatments...on Valentine's Day...way to kick me when I'm down Groupon.
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
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