i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
He pulled out a coupon for $2.50 off the crab cakes and expected us to share that as a meal. Is that the kind of person you really see me dating?
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
Randomize
