walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
Took out half a tooth with a handle of jim beam last night. Apparently I can't walk and chug bourbon at the same time
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
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