so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
I heard drunk is the new sober. I heard me say that. To a cop. Can you come get me??
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
Randomize
