yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
I'm sad that I feel like I need to temporarily change your name in my phone from Smashley until you have the baby and can be unsober with us again.
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
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