True but thats because hes a fetus.
apparently the secret to your success is patron
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
Well guess who isn't a virgin anymore
guess who isnt wearing pants has a shaving cream beard and is afraid theres no cream cheese in the fridge
the answer to that last one was me. the answer to the first one is you, you sly dog
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
Randomize
