We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
The only person who DOESN'T think it's a horrible idea to sleep with my ex is my therapist. Obviously I trust her judgement above all others.
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
I JUST WOKE UP WITH MY UBER DRIVER
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
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