That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
Woke up in an unfamiliar basement in a sleeping bag with Matt to a police officer shining his flashlight in my eyes and asking me my birth date and social security number. My morning went swimmingly.
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
He sent me a 7 minute voicemail of him playing wonderwall on the acoustic guitar I'm not even kidding did he seriously think that would work
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
Randomize
