remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
My life is like a Sweet Valley High book but with lots of alcohol.
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
Puked in my purse on my Uber ride home last night. Safe to say it's not a good idea to beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
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