This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
The beers last night were like the tears from god
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
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