so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
I baptized my dog in my pool last night because he snapped at my party guests, how was your night?
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
Randomize
