my soul wont recognize me after tonight
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
Randomize
