When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
I promised myself in the hospital that I would give up drinking for however long the cast stayed on. Thank god it was only soft tissue and not a fracture.
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
Randomize
