the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
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