Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Randomize
