He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
Someone signed my nipple.
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