this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
Do you know how easy it would be to shoplift if I was a magician?!
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
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