Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
Randomize
