Memo to the bitch sitting across from me at Swamp: no one thinks you're classy with your Louis Vuitton and your Burberry scarf when you're dragging on that cig like it was the last cock on earth and you needed cum for sustenance.
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
If you're still awake, how rude would it be if I masturbated in her new apartment on moving day? If you're asleep, then ask me how it was.
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
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