oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
Putting a positive pregnancy test next to my condoms in my drawer so I remember why I always need to use condoms
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
Randomize
