I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
What changed your mind?
Being sober
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
I was masterbating to some porn on my phone and my mom decides to text me "are you okay?" I mean i was doing great until you cock blocked me mom..
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
Randomize
