the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
Dude, seriously, fucking stop introducing me as "Thomas, with the dick piercing." you are the worst wingman ever.
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
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